I remember when I first became a mother fifteen years ago. OMG! I have a fifteen year old? Time sure does fly. I was scared to death about making decisions when it came to her. What if I don't make the right choice, what if I mess up, what if she grows up to hate me? And so on. And so on. As adults we have a hard enough time making decisions for ourselves and then we become parents and now we have to make decisions for someone else! It was the most difficult thing to do. Trust myself to know that I would do the best I could when it came to deciding what I felt was right for my daughters. Still to this day I question some things. I think that's only natural but I don't question myself as much as I did before. We sometimes want to reach out to others for advice and help. There is nothing wrong with doing this but ultimately the final say so is yours. It took some work to get to that point, where I could 96.7 percent trust myself. Here are a few tips to help you get there.
Tip #1: Don't Compare. I've been guilty of this. Seeing other mothers that seem to have everything so perfectly put together. They don't yell, they have such patience. Let's be realistic. We all "seem" to have everything figured out at one point or another. Maybe there is a mom that has more patience than you at that moment or maybe that kid seems more well behaved than yours in certain situations. However, what works for one family doesn't necessarily work for another. We all have different family cultures and we all come from different backgrounds. If there is something that you want to work to improve as a parent, set a goal and do it but don't beat yourself up about anything and don't compare yourself to other parents. We all have struggles and we're all doing the best we can.
Tip #2: Your kids love you! There have been several days when I felt that I messed up big time and that my kids would hate me forever. I would go sit and think about it and before I knew it my kids would be coming up to me for hugs and kisses. Believe it or not, as much as you don't want to disappoint them, they don't want to disappoint you. Even if they do find themselves being upset they bounce back fairly quickly. You have to trust and know that you're doing what's best for them, even if they don't see it like that. They love you anyways.
Tip #3: Put down the parenting books! Okay I'm not telling you what to read and what not to read. Some of the articles I've read are really interesting oh and they also have some really fun recipes and games to try but when it comes to giving parenting advice, yeah um no. Reading too much into these articles stops us from trusting what we feel, trusting our instincts. We somehow think that everyone has the answers to helping us be better parents when in reality we have everything we need right inside of us.
Parenting is scary. We have happy days, sad days, intense days, frustrating days, and any other day you can think of. I can assure that it is all worth it. Love your baby or babies and love yourself. Remember you've got this!
Certified Pregnancy Health Coach